Spam – cue the vikings

Today marks the start of #DaBloPoMo[1], a month-long festival of blogging, courtesy of YT[2].

Today’s topic is spam[3]. Cue the Vikings.

We’ve all experienced the weird and often wonderful messages that you get via email. Most of the time the spam filters are pretty good at sifting out the offers for various pills and potions, get-rich-quick schemes and other assorted offers. But, every now and again, one gets through.

I *love* trawling through spam emails. Some of the subject lines and fake authors are briliant. I had one many years ago purporting to be from a Yooit Hugentobler.

Seriously. How awesome is that name? It’s become a mission to try and squeeze it into a short story somewhere. Yes, I know it’s probably horribly rude in some language, but still.

I usually skim the contents of my gmail spam folder, on the off-chance that something is in there that shouldn’t be. A while ago I was struck by some of the titles, and mused that they almost sounded like poetry.

I present, for your edification and enjoyment, a pome. I call it ‘Spam, entitled’. Made up entirely of genuine spam subject headers.

To himself on the Crumpetty Tree
Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle
Beware of cold, deterministically skipped
Why it falls quick? Did you asked something?
Spin the wheel of chance
See you there, address attached.

Now, it turns out the first line is from Edward Lear’s The Quangle Wangle. I rather suspect that Myrtle’s slippery slopes are *not* Lear though. 🙂

These days, you also get spam via Twitter. Which is all to be expected. Some of it, again, is pure genius. I present, for your enjoyment and edification, the pure unadulterated joy that is @Horse_ebooks

Dear reader. What’s the best spam you’ve ever seen?

[1] Dave’s Blog Posting Month. I told you about it yesterday. Weren’t you paying attention?
[2] YT = Yours Truly. ie. me. The ‘Dave’ part of DaBloPoMo. Hi! *waves*
[3] No, not the meat product inna tin. The other type[4]
[4] Though that is interesting in and of itself. More later. Perhaps.

Author: dave

Book reviewer, occasional writer, photographer, coffee-lover, cyclist, spoon carver and stationery geek.

3 thoughts on “Spam – cue the vikings”

  1. “Beware of cold, deterministically skipped”. I love that line! All of it is sheer gold though. I do wonder if the Horse ebooks is onto some new poetry school there?

    I wish I could recall the last spam I got that was so delightfully original. And didn’t include the word “penile” in it somewhere.

    1. some say that @Horse_ebooks used to be randomly generated guff, but has been taken over by someone who’s doing it deliberately. You still get the odd gem though.

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