Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The new Star Wars trailer came out today and the internet REJOICED^[1]!

Mainly because George didn’t write it, and it’s highly unlikely Jar Jar Binks is in it. Huzzah!

Some thoughts.

Ooh, desert. Deep gravelly EEEVIL voice.

“There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?”

Clearly this is some kind of Batman crossover. Intriguing. Maybe it’s Smaug.

OMG. BATSMAUG AND HAN SOLO.

Stormtrooper! He’s lost his helmet somewhere, poor chap. Looks a bit confused. MAYBE BATSMAUG ATE HIS HELMET!

Rolling droid. Beeblyboop!

More stormtroopers. This lot still have their helmets on. Exciting ramp opening! Smoke!

Speederbike girl on some kind of funky chunky, errr, speeder bike. She appears to be in a hurry to get somewhere. Good job she’s got a speeder bike, eh? WHY IS IT SO SQUARE? Do they not have aerodynamics in a galaxy far, far away?

X-wings! They’re flying awfully low, in what appears to be Scotland. Stay on target! Watch out for Nessie!

Right, we’ve had sand and water. Must be time for… snow!

Batman again.

“The dark side…”

OOOH. RED LIGHTSABER. With odd cross bar pieces. Looks a bit more… flamey than we’re used to. IS THAT DARTH MAUL PLEASE LET IT BE DARTH MAUL OMG BATSMAUG AND DARTH MAUL HERE TAKE MY MONEY.

Or maybe it’s Darth Jon Snow. WHERE’S GHOST, JJ? Will Darth Jon Snow and BatSmaug team up?

“… and the light.”

MILLENNIUM FALCON! Doing fancy spinny flying things! Probably trying to avoid BATSMAUG and DARTH MAUL.

*falls over with excitement*

oh. Lens flare.

SERIOUSLY JJ, STOP IT WITH THE LENS FLARE. 

oooh, TIE fighters.

CREDITS:
STAR WARS
THE FORCE AWAKENS
DECEMBER 2015

FX: lightsaber noise.

So. That was… short. And dark. And tells us very little.

Current excitement level: OMG SO VERY EXCITED.

(I wonder where it will fit with the proper running order of the movies, as I talked about at some length in my E is for Empire Strikes Back post. [END OF SHAMELESS BLOG PIMPING])

^[1] ok, not ALL of the internet. Some of them were shopping